Alone in his patrol ship in a part of the galaxy he shouldn’t be and surrounded by alien warships, Cadet Bogg thinks long and hard before making a decision. His action has repercussions that spread far beyond his limited imagination and it will ultimately decide the fate of the Earth. The leader of the alien fleet is not amused. Oblivious to this (not that he would care anyway) is a Dwarf Woodcutter who hates people at the best of times but now finds he is reluctantly trying to save a Princess from a particularly nasty two-headed, two-personality Ogre. He would rather stay at home. A Mysterious Stranger in black who seems to have a mysterious grudge against the Dwarf and a dislike for bananas also follows him. Meanwhile, a Dwarf Detective with acute paranoia has just become involved in a rebel plan to return an heiress to her throne after a military dictator has deposed her. He is disturbed by the presence of Mexican guitarists in his lift. The three Boggs are completely unaware of each other’s existence but become inextricably linked in a struggle to prevent the imminent alien invasion of Earth…and not one of them has even the faintest idea of what’s going on.
Prologue
“DON’T TOUCH THE BUTTON.”
The transmission was concise and clear from mission control. There was no static from the space receiver. Concise and clear.
“DON’T TOUCH THE BUTTON.”
It broke the silence and the loneliness felt from being far from home in the outer borders of the quadrant. All alone. There were only three thousand warships in view of the vid-screens to keep him company, poised with laser cannons and aiming in his direction.
“DON’T TOUCH THE BUTTON.”
The voice repeated the instruction. In just those words it said ‘you don’t know what you are doing. We are the experts and we will guide you through this.’
“DON’T TOUCH THE BUTTON.”
The voice from high command had passed through millions of parsecs of space in a trillisecond to be with him. It was a voice of calmness. The four words said ‘do as we say and everything will be fine.’ The words seemed to implore him not to do the thing they thought he was thinking of doing because it was dangerous and besides, they didn’t think he knew what the hell he was doing. He didn’t. He wasn’t even supposed to be there.
“DON’T TOUCH THE BUTTON.”
Concise and clear. The tone was unmistakeable. The tone of a direct order from a senior officer. Cadet patrolman 908154BOGG pressed the button.
...well the button was red and flashing irresistably. What else would a cadet do? What happens next is beyond anything Perseus or any of his superiors could ever have imagined. It takes the Vraagas fleet by surprise too, not to mention an assortment of characters across three universes...
The Kingdom of Dungloon is a greatly overlooked place. This is not particularly surprising as it has little in the way of trade, beauty or collective intelligence. Ruled by a senile King, it has little ambition of becoming an empire and even less chance of doing so. Having said that, it is a good place to go out for a beer...
Times aren’t good in the Independant Republic of Chuggawarale. An evil President has seized power and created a dictatorship. The remaining heiress to the Royal Throne, Princess Serena, is imprisoned and there seems to be nobody willing or able to help. Enter the Chuggawarale Resistance, all three of them. They would be lucky to overthr
Times aren’t good in the Independant Republic of Chuggawarale. An evil President has seized power and created a dictatorship. The remaining heiress to the Royal Throne, Princess Serena, is imprisoned and there seems to be nobody willing or able to help. Enter the Chuggawarale Resistance, all three of them. They would be lucky to overthrow a bowl of blancmange let alone a well protected despot.
They will need help to restore democracy and this appears to be in the shape of a small, fat, hairy detective who is the sole overseas viewer of their national television channel. The battle will be fought out... during a Miss World contest?
It is said that in Space, nobody can hear you scream. In fact, nobody can hear you at all. At least, that’s what the teachers at the Space Corps hoped when they sent a certain cadet out into it. Not the brightest, not the best but certainly the most frustrating cadet that they had ever had. With such a vast expanse of emptiness, it seem
It is said that in Space, nobody can hear you scream. In fact, nobody can hear you at all. At least, that’s what the teachers at the Space Corps hoped when they sent a certain cadet out into it. Not the brightest, not the best but certainly the most frustrating cadet that they had ever had. With such a vast expanse of emptiness, it seemed inconceivable that he could cause any problems out there, at least for them. They couldn’t have been more wrong...
It may be a vast emptiness but Cadet Patrolman 908154Bogg still managed to bump in to some other life forms, 3000 alien warships worth for starters...
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